I need to start by explaining that nothing I say is ever purposed to excuse behaviour, my own or others'. Unless clearly indicated, these are always just thoughts I have that try to explain reactions or circumstances to certain situations/moments in life. I suppose in writing this, I hope that other people may reach the same conclusions as I do.
To me, asking a question, no matter how benign, stupid, superficial, or obvious it may be, is not wrong and can never be a bad thing.
Asking for reassurance? Great. Asking to explain a situation for the tenth time? Great. Asking for the reasoning behind someone's decision? Great. Asking for an explanation to something that would take minutes to research? Great.
Perhaps my stance on 'stupid' questions is due to my lenience for the reasons these questions might be asked. Perhaps I am more patient and simply more accepting. It doesn't matter whether the reason is anxiety, laziness, thoughtlessness, thoroughness. A question always deserves an answer. Admittedly, it can be frustrating to answer the same questions or to answer questions you consider obvious, but at the heart of things, to question is not wrong, and should never be met with animosity.
To actually connect the title of this post with what I've just said: I prefer a question being asked over an assumption being made. Having confidence in knowing the answer is great, obviously there should be an amount of thoughts and reflections on any topic before the question is asked.
"You should know this!", but what if my knowledge is outdated, misinterpreted, or the circumstances have changed? What if, by assuming to know all the right answers, I mistakenly act in a thoughtless and possibly hurtful manner?
"This is so simple, how do you not know this?", but what if me asking is because I am trying to get your perspective, or me trying to understand your level of knowledge on the matter? What if I enjoy being educated by someone I deeply respect or look up to and that's my reasoning for asking?
"We've talked about this!", but what if I'm worried I remember wrong? What if I'm anxious and looking for reassurance?
In short, I feel that the expectation of questions should be lowered. Sometimes questions are asked out of thoughtlessness, sometimes they are asked out of anxiety and fear, sometimes they are asked because of genuine interest or care. I hope we meet each other with more understanding, a little more empathetic, without assuming and demonising the other person for asking something. There is a limit to stupid questions, but at the heart of things, they are not wrong.